Mugiwara Logs
by PirateKefka
Summary: The Mugiwara Logs, a retelling of One Piece through the POV of various OP characters. Each log will have a color associated with its writer. ::NOTE:: Log Entries marked WCx mean Wild Card and are not canon.
1. Red One :: Koby and Alvida

Finally, I set out to sea today. I'm gonna miss Makino and the mayor, but I told Shanks that I'd become a great pirate and return his hat. Anyways…this weather…isn't really looking too good and I should probably take cov—

AAAAHHHH! Good thing this didn't get too wet, I was afraid my log would get too wet to write in already! That would've not been a good way to start my journey. Anyways, I have a new friend! His name is Koby, he was being forced to work by this fat FAT woman named Alvida. She was fat. But she was also weak. So I beat her up. Koby was happy.

It's funny to see people react to my Gomu Gomu powers. I like when someone like Alvida tries to hit me with something heavy. I wonder if that stuff really hurts…because it only makes me tingle a bit. Then I beat them up. It feels so good to do that.

I overheard something about some bounty hunter named Zoro. I have a feeling he's a good guy, maybe I can make him part of my crew, that'd be COOL. Well I'm getting tired, so I'm gonna finish up for now. I'll write in you again when I meet Zoro.


	2. Red Two :: The Pirate Hunter

I met the Zoro guy! But…he was tied up when Koby and I met him. He wasn't busy or anything, just…tied up. Apparently he attacked the dog of the big Marine Captain's son, which is weird, Zoro was probably just hungry or something and noticed that the dog's made of meat. I'd attack it too if I was hungry, I'm sure they're delicious.

Anyways, there's this girl named Rika and she comes in to feed Zoro, she's really nice. But that Marine Captain's son came back again and ate the food she made for him, then he threw the rest on the ground and stomped on it! He's a bad person and then had a Marine throw her over the fence. Thank goodness I caught her. What kind of jerk throws a little kid around?

After he left, Zoro asked for the food that stupid hair stomped on the ground. It was all muddy and gross, but he still ate it. I guess he was really REALLY hungry. I guess I could do that too if I hadn't eaten in…maybe…four hours. Zoro's a really good guy!

I HATE STUPID HAIR! HE'S GONNA KILL ZORO! ZORO WAS JUST GONNA STAY TIED UP FOR A MONTH AND THEN GET LET GO, BUT STUPID HAIR'S GONNA KILL HIM!

It's decided, I already beat up Stupid Hair, and now I'm gonna free Zoro and make him a member of my crew! I don't have much time left so I gotta be fast. Stupid Hair and his Stupid Hair Dad are going down!


	3. Green One :: Becoming The Hunted

…What the hell am I getting myself into with this guy?

So yeah, I'm not good with words, but I guess that I have to keep this log-thing because my Captain wants all parts of his adventure recorded so his adventures can be told around the world. What kind of people would be crazy enough to read a story about a pirate that can stretch himself and with the mind of a kid? At least he's not making it into a comic or something, that'd be really stupid.

Anyways, uh, hi, journal, my name is Roronoa Zoro and I guess I'm writing my events with this crew with you. I made a promise to a really close late friend of mine that I'm going to become the world's greatest swordsman. It's a crazy goal, but if Luffy wants to become the Pirate King, I guess we're just a bunch of crazy dreamers.

So since I haven't read any of his logs, I don't know if he's put stuff about Morgan and Helmeppo, but those two were a father-son pair of Marines. One power tripping and the other feeding off the trip his "dear old daddy" was on. Yeah, serious issues. Of course, the second I try to knock some sense in the son, I get arrested. Oh well, I figured "I'll tough it out, show prissy-boy a thing or two."

Of course, when prissy-boy has no plans of letting you go, toughing it out is not a very good option. Enter Luffy. Luffy already had some scuffles with Helmeppo already…also involving me…but I'm sure Luffy will write about that. He was able to…convince Helmeppo to free me and since he's SUCH a nice guy, gave me my swords back too.

I provided cover for Luffy as he took on Morgan in a really interesting fight. Of course, it was the first time I ever saw a Devils Fruit user fight, quite an interesting experience. Finally, a nice combo effort by the two of us finally knocked some sense into this screwed family. I think we'll get along well.

So…now we're on this dinky dinghy and we are STARVING! Stupid Luffy getting us kicked off that island before collecting enough rations. Meh, we'll just get some fishing or take out some birds or…why is Luffy missing?

OH FOR CHRISSAKES! Luffy's being carried away by a giant bird! That stupid little…


	4. Orange One :: The Boy From The Sky

I really need to stop stealing these logbooks. I'm going through so many, but if Arlong even notices one, I burn them to make sure he doesn't know my plans beforehand. I hope this one can last a long time.

So here I am, this…podunk place called Port Town with two, well, morons. One of them is this stupid kid named Luffy. Well first off he CONTINUALLY insists that I've joined his crew as his navigator, despite the fact that I've told him many times that I won't join with him due to my…current…association (although I don't tell him that). Since he's a moron, I decided to ally with him so I could get close to Buggy, who's another filthy pirate, but he has pretty much taken over the town, putting it under martial law.

Well, first of all, Luffy and I became acquainted with each other after I kinda borrowed Buggy's map to the Grand Line. He fell out of the sky completely undamaged and I…persuaded some of Buggy's lackeys that he was my boss. (Although in retrospect, that might've gave him the message I'd want to work for him.) I should've realized he's a moron immediately since he got so pissed off when one of the lackeys knocked off the hat he was wearing. Luffy just beat the daylights out of them just for that, claiming that the hat was his "treasure". It doesn't have a map or jewels or beri or anything! How can a dinky hat be "treasure"?

So I use moron-boy to get close to Buggy saying that we had a dispute and I'd rather align myself with him than my "former boss". Since all pirates are stupid arrogant jerks, Buggy believed me and allowed me to join. Under one condition, though…I had to kill Luffy!

I'm a thief, yes, but I'm not a cold-hearted killer. Luffy is just this random kid! I can't kill him for no good reason! All goddamn pirates are the same, no regard for people's lives. Just another murderous rat thriving under a Jolly Roger. The worst part is that I knew that if I didn't do it, I'd be next on the hitlist! I had to think fast, but a blessing in disguise arrived when one of the Clown Pirates tried to light the fuse on Buggy's cannon because his thick head couldn't take the anticipation. Out of reflex, I attacked him and blew my cover. Dear God I thought I was done. Enter moron number two.

Luffy mentioned that he had another crewmate, but I never expected the bounty hunter Roronoa Zoro to be that other crewmate! He was able to protect me because, you know, women are fragile beings that can't defend themselves. Of course, I was grateful for the help, though. While he couldn't cut through Luffy's cage, he did slice up Buggy like he was dinner. Too bad that ended up being not as helpful as we thought.

That crazy guy Buggy has a Devil Fruit! The Bara-Bara no Mi, he can split up his body at will! So when Zoro attacked, he just split at what would have been the wound! Goddamn dirty pirates and their dirty tricks. He pretended to die, then backstabbed Zoro with one of his disembodied hands! Then as Buggy put his body back together, Luffy decides to mention his nose, which pisses him off so he throws the same knife at Luffy! Luffy freaking catches it with his teeth! Everyone around me is batshit INSANE! AAAAAAHHH!

OK, calm down, Nami. At least the Super Nimrod Bros had a good escape plan, they used the cannon that was originally going to be used to kill Luffy to attack Buggy and his crew. Throughout the smoke and confusion, the three of us (albeit with Zoro carrying the cage that Luffy was in DISPITE being wounded and DISPITE the continuing trend that he's an idiot) were able to distance ourselves from that crazy clown.

So we're back in town, Luffy and Zoro are hopefully hiding somewhere like I am now. First we need to free Luffy, then we need to hightail it the hell out of this godforsaken place…what the hell am I writing with this "we" crap? Oh well, I'll associate myself with these guys a bit longer until I can get out of this acquaintanceship. Out of sight, out of mind, and for them, out of beri.


	5. Red Three :: The Navigator

Cagey cagey cage. I'm in a cage. If I don't get out of this cage I'm going to go INSANE! But yeah, I'm in a cage. I already tried stretching out but it doesn't work. Stupid people and their unbreakable cages, why would anyone need them? I hope my new navigator finds the key.

Oh yeah! We have a navigator now and she's awesome and she's great and she's…awesome! Although she is kinda weird…and kinda responsible for me being in this cage of PAIN AND HUNGER AND I'M HUNGRY. She really didn't want to join the crew at first but I convinced her anyways! I guess people like me have a good way with words while others…don't…have way, I guess. Anyways, Nami joined! Oh happy day!

Oh yeah, how I got in this STUPID STUPID cage. So Zoro and I were sailing and we were hungry, so it was just a normal day. I found this huge bird and tried to grab it, but since I think all the birds in the world are plotting against me, he grabbed me instead and I got carried off to some random island. Stupid birds, I'm gonna eat three for every time I should eat one from now on!

So anyways, there's this guy named Buggy in this town who has a BIG red nose. It's kinda nice that I finally met someone else with Devil Fruit powers. But it's WASN'T nice when he stabbed Zoro! I wanted to beat him up but I was still in this stupid stupid cage…AAAAAH I DON'T LIKE YOU CAGE! But luckily Zoro was able to distract them and we could escape.

Nami's a good girl, she didn't kill me. Buggy tried to make her fire a cannon at me, but she wouldn't do it. Although that did kinda blow her cover trying to get along with his crew. There's something about her, she's never really fit in anywhere in her life. Just this feeling about her, she wants to have her alone time. I think all girls are that way, though.

So yeah, Zoro and I are waiting for Nami right now. I'll just write whatever else happens while wai—OOH A DOGGIE!


	6. Green Two :: Stabbed Kidneys Aren't Fun

Nothing says you made the right career choice when the person that you owe your life to and swear loyalty to gets carried away by a giant bird. Makes you feel really comfortable with your future.

Luckily once Captain Moron was flying away, I was lucky to pick some hitchhikers that were so helpful that after some convincing, they even rowed the boat for me. Although they kept bitching about how they got swindled by some red-haired girl. Kinda funny really, I know it'll be a cold day in hell before some crazy woman takes advantage of me…in a negative way.

So yeah, these hitchhikers are members of the Clown Pirates, led by this guy named Buggy who has a Devils Fruit. Two Fruit users in a week, what are the odds? Too bad Mr. Buggy isn't nearly as nice (or easy-going, or childish, or stupid) as Luffy. I have the GAPING DAGGER WOUND to prove it. OK, Buggy has this Bara Bara no Mi, so he can separate his body parts and send them flying every which way. But more on that later.

I find Luffy and some red-haired girl (Goddamn it, Luffy) about to be attacked by random cronies of Buggy's crew. Obviously I could take care of about 5 to 10 of them with just my scabbard. East Blue crews aren't exactly known for being tough, I really need to get out more. I meet up with old Buggy boy and slice him up to pieces. Then the fun and SEARING PAIN came in.

Remember how I said Buggy can disconnect his body parts and send them off in every which way? Well I didn't know that at the time and quickly became good friends with Mr Backstab McStabbison. Man it's hard to move when you have a goddamn dagger stuck in your kidney, but not too hard where you can't flip up a cannon and shoot it in the face of moronic clown. Man I wish you could see my face right now as I wrote that.

Anyways, I'm just laying around, because I lack the energy to do otherwise. Luffy keeps telling me that the red-haired girl's gonna join the crew as well. I have mixed feelings on this. As much as it's nice to get a third member, there's something off about her. Oh well, all I need to worry about is this stupid wound.


End file.
